How I love France. Within the first FIVE MINUTES of being back in this god forsaken place, I was forced to call a lady on the subway a bitch. And I'm not one for public confrontations, but when you cut in front of me in line at the ticket machine and then call me stupid, then it's on.
I've started my classes, the main reason that I'm here this summer, which I pretty much forgot about. There's nothing like 3 weeks of straight drinking and travelling to get you prepared for 6 straight hours of lecture each day.
So instead of summarizing the trip, I figured I'd give a quick recap of each place we visited with some valuable lessons for your own future travelling.
1) Dublin: Beware of French male prostitutes looking to pick you up. Yes, seriously.
2) Paris: Be suspicious of everyone. Even the old lady at the supermarket will have some unsolicited advice for you about how to dress or how to properly pack your groceries. Bring a cardigan or extra t-shirt to cover your face on the metro from the cloud of odor in which you will be immersed.
3) Zurich: Don't get too close to the swans. They attack. And you can drink out of the fountains here, which is weird, but might as well avoid paying for the $4 bottle of water.
4) Munich: Be prepared to gain 10 pounds in 2 days on bratwurst and liter beers. Also beware of senior citizens who frequent beer gardens to attempt to pick up American tourists half their age.
5) Berlin: It's fun to imitate Germans in complete gibberish when you know they've just insulted you. They do not find this amusing. I also recommend strapping yourself into any night train bunks and avoiding general sightseeing in the countryside, due to the landmines (tip courtesy of tourist information desk).
6) Stockholm and Gothenburg, Sweden: Buy your alcohol early because the stores close at 6 pm. I have never experienced such confusion.
7) Norway: Little blonde Nordic children may seem cute, but they can ruin entire train rides.
8) Denmark: Some hotels here don't know the difference between credit and debit, and you may get into a fight with the receptionist who keeps telling you to enter your pin on your credit card.
9) London: Just throw your wallet over the gates of Buckingham Palace because your $ will be gone soon enough anyway.
More pics to come this week!
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Jenny! Thanks a million for taking my daughter on such a wildly wonderful trip AND getting her back on the plane sober - and safe - and deliriously happy at having had so much fun!
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